Inadequate...

This post is going to super negative and a poor me post, don’t get me wrong I know I am blessed and am so grateful for all that I have. I am just so frustrated by some of the feelings I have been having lately. Does it ever seem like everyone else does everything perfect? I have friends who have a perfectly spotless house all the time, they are always dressed cute and have make-up on all the time, they make gourmet meals for their families and actually enjoy cooking and baking, and to top it off they all appear to be “mother of the year” (I know that no one is perfect, but it sure feels that way to me).
Now I am not complaining that they are perfect, I am complaining because of my inadequacy. I feel like no matter how hard I try my house is always a mess…I seriously feel like I spend all day cleaning (only to be interrupted by the Buggie) and then at the end of the day I look around and feel like not an ounce of progress was made.

I rarely do my make-up and I wear my sweats all day, Zach works from 11am till midnight, so why? What’s the point? I do make an effort to get ready on the days he is home and on the weekends when we go out, but still even when I try I feel like my clothes are ugly and they just don’t fit right after having a baby and I feel like I am so out of touch with the latest styles, and the more I try the more frustrated I get!

Cooking…don’t even get me started on this. I hate cooking, I always have. I try to cook us meals but they are always easy. Like pancakes, tacos, even frozen lasagna or hamburger helper (I know gross, right?) I look for recipes and have no idea what half the ingredients are let alone where I buy them or how to use them (I am going to blame this one on my mom, she despises cooking also).

Now…what to do with all of this? I just feel like no matter how hard I try I am falling short of everything. I am not as good of a wife or mother as I should be, I don’t do everything I should for my calling at church, I don’t cook or clean well, I don’t have the fashion sense as I once did when I was single, I don’t do my make-up or hair everyday (but yes I do shower…most days!). My goal is to change some of this…now where do I start? Does anyone feel like they are just not measuring up? Any suggestions on how I can become better or how I can get out of this rut that I am in?

Tubby Time

Tay's favorite thing these days is her tubby time! She loves it, she thinks she is so funny. She will splash, splash, splash. She even has to "wind up" (you can see it in some of the pics below) she brings her legs to her belly and then shoots her legs down to make a big splash. However, if she splashes herself in the face she looks at me like "why did you do that". Oh man, she is starting to get so fun. She is able to grab things now and now loves to read book and shake her rattles. I can't believe next week she will be 4 months old. Oh how I love my little buggie!

Bouncin' Baby

Yesterday we decided to set up Taylee's bouncer thing that Santa brought her. It says 4+ months, but we decided to see if she liked it at 3 months. She is way to little for it so we had to stuff the seat part with blankets to help support her! This was her reaction...Wow...new toy...I think I could like this!Oh wow, I can even watch TV in this thing...I do think I like it! I love how her little fit are not even close to touching the ground!After a few minutes she decided she didn't like it so much...Oh well we'll try again later!

And today the little buggie boo is super happy! Man I love her. I just wanted to write a few things that I don't want to forget.Isn't it funny how nick names come about these are Tay's nicknames as of now...

Tay Tay

Tay Tay the wonder girl (Chayse's nickname for her)

Taylee Ranger (another one of Chayse's nickname for her)
Tay Wei

Tay Bug

Buggie

Buggie Boo

Sis, or little sis

and of course Baby girl

She has also been laughing so much. Some of the things she thinks are the funniest are looking in the mirror with mommy or daddy. Watching Bentley play fetch (win win for me because I make both "kids" happy when we play fetch). When you sing her favorite song and do arm actions with it. She also laughs and smiles when you kiss her belly and toes (or eat them as I do and make an annoying chomping sound)! Man, we love this little girl, it is crazy how different my life is after having a baby. Don't get me wrong there are days when it is hard and days that I feel super anxious because there are baby toys, swings, and now bouncers in the middle of the living room and no matter where you put them your house still looks messy! However, being a mom is the best thing ever and I try to savor every moment with her. Here are a few pictures I took of her today. What a cute little thing...

"like"

Hey everyone will you please help us? Taylee is in a cute baby contest and the winner gets a free family photo session that is 350 big ones. On FACEBOOK go to Jen Herem photography and like her page and then like Taylee's picture. She is #55 and this is the picture for you to "like"
I tried posting a link, but it won't work! So go do it...Thanks so much!

Taylee's Blessing

This past sunday we blessed Taylee. The prayer Zach gave was really good and of course I cried through the whole thing. We are so lucky to have all the family and friends that came to share this special day with us. We went back to our house after for some mingling and of course eating! It was such a good day and Taylee was so happy even though she got very little sleep!

Today, Taylee is also 3 months old...NO!!! I want her to stop growing...she is getting so big so fast, can't time slow down just for a little bit so I can enjoy my little baby girl!

Sleeping Beauty

Every time Taylee takes a nap I go in and watch her for a little bit. So I thought I would take a few pictures. Seriously isn't she so sweet when she sleeps? Right before I put her down for her naps I get excited, as any mom knows it is nice when you baby is sleeping so you have just a little time for yourself. Usually after about an hour I begin to miss her, so that is when I go and just stare at her for a while. Is this normal or am I weird?

January 2011

My goodness where has the time gone. I can't believe my baby girl is almost 3 months old! It makes me so sad, I wish time would just slow down so I can enjoy her more! She is becoming so funny though. She now laughs, smiles, and talks non-stop. She has continued being the best baby ever. She never cries, unless she is hungry or if it is tummy time (more on that at the bottom). She has always been a good sleeper never sleeping less than 6 hours, the past week she has been sleeping 8-10 hours per night. How did I get so lucky? She is so perfect (I can say that, I am her mom). This little girl also loves her daddy! She will laugh for me a little, but it is Zach that can get her to really giggle. At her 2 month appointment her stats were

Head: 15 in (35th percentile)

Length: I can't remember the inches but it is was the 50th percentile

Weight 11.3 lbs (60th percentile)
Man we love her so much! I count my blessings everyday and am so thankful that I get to be her mommy!

I love to kiss her chubby belly! She thinks it is pretty funny when I do!


She also loves her tubby time! She is just figuring out that she can splash! It is so funny to watch because she still doesn't have much control of her arms and legs so she just flails about!


She HATES being on her tummy! It is a chore everyday to get her tummy time in as I try to entertain her. This is the only decent picture I have of her on her tummy because she looks so sad in all the other ones!