This post is going to super negative and a poor me post, don’t get me wrong I know I am blessed and am so grateful for all that I have. I am just so frustrated by some of the feelings I have been having lately. Does it ever seem like everyone else does everything perfect? I have friends who have a perfectly spotless house all the time, they are always dressed cute and have make-up on all the time, they make gourmet meals for their families and actually enjoy cooking and baking, and to top it off they all appear to be “mother of the year” (I know that no one is perfect, but it sure feels that way to me).
Now I am not complaining that they are perfect, I am complaining because of my inadequacy. I feel like no matter how hard I try my house is always a mess…I seriously feel like I spend all day cleaning (only to be interrupted by the Buggie) and then at the end of the day I look around and feel like not an ounce of progress was made.
I rarely do my make-up and I wear my sweats all day, Zach works from 11am till midnight, so why? What’s the point? I do make an effort to get ready on the days he is home and on the weekends when we go out, but still even when I try I feel like my clothes are ugly and they just don’t fit right after having a baby and I feel like I am so out of touch with the latest styles, and the more I try the more frustrated I get!
Cooking…don’t even get me started on this. I hate cooking, I always have. I try to cook us meals but they are always easy. Like pancakes, tacos, even frozen lasagna or hamburger helper (I know gross, right?) I look for recipes and have no idea what half the ingredients are let alone where I buy them or how to use them (I am going to blame this one on my mom, she despises cooking also).
Now…what to do with all of this? I just feel like no matter how hard I try I am falling short of everything. I am not as good of a wife or mother as I should be, I don’t do everything I should for my calling at church, I don’t cook or clean well, I don’t have the fashion sense as I once did when I was single, I don’t do my make-up or hair everyday (but yes I do shower…most days!). My goal is to change some of this…now where do I start? Does anyone feel like they are just not measuring up? Any suggestions on how I can become better or how I can get out of this rut that I am in?
Friday, March 4, 2011
Inadequate...
Posted by Chels and Zach at Friday, March 04, 2011
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7 comments:
I totally know how you feel. It is hard to find balance in life, and that is not counting being a new mom. We should get together and have a play date and commiserate. But one thing to keep in mind is that you are focusing on the things that are really important to you, i.e hubby and the baby, the rest of that stuff just is not that important. The dishes will always be dirty, there will always be laundry and fads change all of the time. Just try to not get caught up in how other people "appear" I am sure they are just as insecure as you are. And as far as the whole cooking thing goes, ask your friends what there favorite easy thing to make is and just start trying new things. Most of all cut yourself some slack.
Found your blog randomly, but I wanted to tell you everyone feels like they don't measure up. And the worst thing you can do is compare yourself to someone else because you'll never see someone else's 'bad' side.
Instead of looking at what you don't have, look at what you do have. You have a loving husband and a beautiful baby. Suddenly, the fashion sense doesn't measure up anymore.
For the cleaning that never ends, don't set the daily goal of cleaning the whole living room. Instead, focus on something small, like I am going to pick up these things by the end of the day or I am going to dust this. As for cooking, see if there are any community cooking classes. If that doesn't work, find a friend who's a really good cook and have a get-together with the focus being she shows you what she does when she cooks.
I hope the suggestions help. I know the feeling of never measuring up to everyone else (especially with the messy house). And life is too good to feel this way for more than five minutes.
I was in this rut too! I never got ready really but did shower haha. What helped me was I wake up every morning get a little 20 min workout in and get ready, put on my makeup. This has helped me to get my confidence back even if I don't go anywhere. After Wes I went on a little shopping spree to get some new things to make me feel better. I think after you have a baby your life changes and I needed a new clothes to fit my change. Hang in there! You are a wonderful mother, think how lucky Taylee is? So lucky to have such a wonderful mother and father who love her so much. I never liked cooking and I found blogs or websites to help me with my cooking. Melskitchencafe has lots of yummy easy recipes. Try the sweet and sour chicken if you like chinese food. Don't worry about your house, I feel that the people that have the clean clean houses all the time are probably OCD about it. Again hang in there!! You have a beautiful family!!
I have a couple of favorite cooking sites that have tutorials. The recipes are really good! They are www.ourbestbites.com and www.favfamilyrecipes.com. As for keeping your house clean, I read a book last summer about how to clean fast, one of the things that it said was to just to spend 5 minutes in each room and pick it up so that it looks clean. I hope this helps.
I wish I read this before now! I often feel the same. My house looks like a tornado came through after a hurricane, I don't and never have had much fashion sense (nothing like white sock with black crocs), and we'd starve without TV dinners right now. I think women are often very mean to themselves. My newest project is learning to be my own best friend, because I would never think such horrible things about my friends as I do myself. I catch myself starting to believe it and I know that's not okay. I loved seeing your cute family yesterday!
Oh my I totally know how you feel. It is okay to not get dressed every day. And there will always be that person who looks like they get all done, but I gurantee they have shortcomings at some place in there life. Oh and cooking that is not for everyone. Some people love it and others just do the quick things. I say do what works for you. If it tastes good then your good..lol You are doing great! The effort is all that matters. But I love you post, because so many of us feel the same its good that you are being honest!
Chels~
Girl.. You know what you get to do! You get to LOVE yourself and cut yourself a break! Your beautiful and dont need all the makeup! Your little girl and husband love you in your sweats or a pair of $150 jeans! As for cleaning.. psssh! Come to my house if you want on any given day.. promise you will feel better about your home after that!
Keep the chin up lady! You are a fantastic person.. and you need to know that we all strive for Martha Stewart status.. and want to be the June Cleaver of domestic goddess's but we are who we are!~ And at the end of it all will we be judged for the cleanliness of our homes or the kinds of meals we prepared? I THINK NOT
love.. Shan
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